Never Learn
by OtakuLeader
Summary: One fight, one knot in the heart, accumulates into change. The distance between us is drawn farther apart. I've yet to learn, to reveal the hurt and exhaustion I feel.  Can Ritsu face her fears and tell the truth about how she feels? And will Mio accept?
1. Chapter 1

Got this idea from a newly released Chinese MV I saw called '**Never Learn**' and its lyrics. The style is different from what I normally write and is more or less experimental in many areas, including the point of view. I tried my best anyhow. There was no beta involved, just a helpful encouragement from a fellow Mitsu writer. I hope it is to your liking. This was going to be just one chapter but when I saw how long it was getting, I figured it would be better to break it into parts. Mostly because I wanted each scene to leave a lasting impression on the mind. I ended up being quite depressed while writing the first half of this story as I got too engrossed with Ritsu's feelings. The song I was playing as I wrote didn't help either. It's called '**Moment of Decision**,' from the game _Katawa Shoujo_. It got to the point where I had to watch a cheerful anime to snap me out of it for two hours. It's quite scary what writing and music can do to a person when used together. I suggest listening to the song as you read it because it truly fits the mood. Here's the ending url for it on youtube.- **watch?v=rPakd1q3Q8Y&hd=1**

Anyways, I hope you enjoy the story. Reviews are appreciated. Thank you.

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><p>Disclaimer: I do not own K-ON! or the music involved in making this story nor the lyrics.<p>

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><p>-0-0-0-0-0-<p>

_One fight, one knot in the heart, accumulates into change  
>The distance between us is drawn farther apart<em>

_I've yet to learn, to reveal the hurt and exhaustion I feel  
>Even if it hurts to death<em>  
>-0-0-0-0-0-<p>

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><p>"Ritsu, you never learn, do you?" Mio said angrily as she stormed out of the clubroom, slamming the door as she left.<p>

"Wait!" Ritsu said as she rushed to the door. She reached to turn the knob, only to freeze when she noticed that Mio was holding it on the other side.

"Dammit Mio! Open the door!" Ritsu bang on the door ruthlessly, not caring that her knuckles were starting to bleed.

"Don't follow me!"

"Fine!"

Ritsu pulled away from the door and kicked it as hard as she could. She heard a gasp from the other side.

"I hate you!"

"Good! I hate you too! I never want to see you again!"

Ritsu realized too late in her outburst what she said and immediately tried to apologize.

"Wait, Mio, I didn't mean-!" Ritsu struggled to speak but the sudden silence from the other side of the door told her she was not about to get reprieved for her words.

She heard a muffled sob of frustration, then the sound of shoes running down the hallway and fading. Ritsu stared at the door with a pained smile on her face, tears slowly rolling down her cheeks as she laughed.

"All this pain in the end…was it worth it, Ritsu?" Ritsu went to the desk where she and the other band members normally had tea.

She traced the edges of the desk Mio used and slammed her fists into it. She winced at the pain that ran through her hands, and for the first time saw how raw and bloody they were. She laughed again. Ritsu slowly went toward the ground and went into a hunched position. She threw her arms around her head as if hiding from someone, letting tears rain down her face. Up until this point she had managed to ignore the growing tightness in her chest, using jokes or playing the drums as a cushion against what her heart was revealing to her. It had frightened her when she realized what it meant and so she suppressed it, despite the pain in doing so. But now it was more agonizing than anything she had ever experienced and thus forced to reevaluate her feelings for Mio. She now fully understood why she wasn't as outgoing or honest with Mio as she used to be. This fight between them made her mind realize what her heart had already known for a long time. The events of weeks prior to this moment began to unfold in Ritsu's mind.

How she teased Mio endlessly throughout the days, despite the constant protests she stop. The few times she indulged in what Mio wanted, only to twist things around again to her own amusement. But each time this happened, she was always forgiven. And there were even days where she honestly and happily _did _whatever Mio desired, because it made her happy to for once to see Mio give a smile she thought no one else ever saw. And then they moved on. But when she had seen how happy Mio was at the mention of Nodoka, was when things changed permanently between them. And Ritsu knew it was her fault. Even after they made up from that fight, Ritsu began to feel jealous or anxious when Mio seemed to spend time with other people or doing things that Ritsu could not follow along with. Lately all the teachers talked about was Mio going away on a recommendation to a university, a university which Ritsu knew she could only dream of attending. And Ritsu knew she it would be impossible for her to follow her there if Mio chose to go. Up until today, Mio had not mentioned the recommendation, so Ritsu forgot about it. But when Mio casually mentioned after practice how she looked forward to making her place in the world at the university, Ritsu lost it. All at once, the fear and growing pain in her chest overpowered her.

At first she just started teasing Mio, wondering how she could hope to survive school without anyone familiar around. Mio simply said that she'd rather focus on her studies and that she was sure she could find time to hang out with the other band members, herself included. Messaging and calling were also options. But Ritsu would not stop there. She began to inquire as to what if they were a time when no one would answer her calls, what would Mio do then? The question didn't seem to faze Mio, who coolly replied that she was capable of making new friends, and didn't need Ritsu to help her anymore.

Mio standing up to her and taking everything in stride caught Ritsu by surprise. It was at that moment Ritsu realized that Mio no longer needed her to guide her along, to protect and help her with anything that she couldn't handle. Mio was able to stand alone. Ritsu didn't know what to make of this Mio. A Mio who made it seem like _she _was the one who _needed_ her. Ritsu felt as if her pride in always being there for Mio was being crushed, and as a result, began taunting Mio. Saying how she must think she was better than everyone. How special she was. How Mio must so happy to not have to deal with her anymore. Throughout her barrage of hurtful words, Mio said nothing. So she continued, knowing that it was too late to rewind and take back her words, yet feverishly hoping that Mio knew her well enough that she did not really mean what she said and would find some way to stop her. And then be able to come up with a solution where she would be forgiven and she could forget the ache in her chest once more. But instead, all she got where words that both baffled and hurt her beyond anything before.

"_Ritsu, you never learn, do you?" _Ritsu whispered, trembling. _"What is that supposed to mean?"_

"Perhaps it means it's time to stop playing around, don't you think, Ricchan?" A voice came out from the club room's entrance.


	2. Chapter 2

Here's chapter two. Hope it meets everyone's expectations. I was quite shocked at what happened during this chapter. Mio especially is always full of surprises. Mugi too for that matter. And why are Korean songs so angsty? This time around, various Korean songs helped me get through this chapter, but the plot is still focused around the Chinese song for which this story is named after. Roughly. No beta for this either. Enjoy and look forward to the next chapter! Reviews are welcomed and give me an idea as to whether people are liking where I'm taking this story. Thank you!

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><p>Disclaimer: I don't own K-ON! or the song Never Learn.<p>

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><p>-0-0-0-0-0-<p>

_I've realized that love doesn't represent everything  
>Even with the most sincere heart, it can still be rejected<em>

_Place every sad and bitter love in front,  
>no feelings of remorse, just memories<br>_  
>-0-0-0-0-0-<p>

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><p>"Perhaps it means it's time to stop playing around, don't you think, Ricchan?" A voice came out from the club room's entrance.<p>

Ritsu scrambled up in a panic as she watched Mugi approach her, looking disappointed. She went to the cabinet where the tea sets were and began making tea.

"M-Mugi! How long have you been there? I thought you had gone home with Yui and Azusa." Ritsu said, failing at keeping the anxiety in her voice down.

"I did but I forgot my phone…" Mugi paused and gave Ritsu a piercing gaze. "And then I saw Mio crying as she ran away from the room."

Ritsu flinched and looked away.

"It's got nothing to do with you Mugi." Ritsu said while making her to the club room door. "I'm leav-"

"Please sit down, Ritsu-_san_."

Ritsu turned around and looked at Mugi in shock. Mugi didn't speak again and went back to preparing the tea. Ritsu sighed and walked back to the desks. When it became apparent that Mugi was not going to speak again, Ritsu rested her head on the table. She could feel a dull pain in her hands and vaguely wondered if she should bandage them. A few minutes passed before Mugi poured tea for Ritsu and herself and then she sat down. Ritsu took a sip of tea.

"Well?" She said. "What is it that you want?"

Mugi merely gave Ritsu a smile before drinking her own tea. She closed her eyes and sighed. Ritsu jumped up and slammed her hands on the desk.

"Mugi! I'm not playing guessing games with you!"

"Neither am I, Ritsu-_san_."

"Stop doing that! I'm not a stranger!"

"From the way you have been treating Mio-chan, it seems like you are."

"Where are you going with this Mugi?"

"Do you hate Mio-chan?"

Ritsu felt as if she had been hit and she staggered back. She ignored the pain in her chest and thrust her arm out in front of her.

"What? No! I could never hate Mio! She's my best friend!"

"Is that all?" Mugi said while taking another sip of tea.

"What do you mean '_is that all_?_'_ What more is there?"

"I don't know. You tell me, Ritsu-_san_."

"There you go again with that. Stop it!"

"Not until you say how you feel about Mio-chan."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Ritsu said as she shifted uncomfortably. She could feel tears welling up in her eyes. "She's my friend. I feel for her as any friend I've had. That will never change."

"But you want it to change, don't you? You want more than being her 'best friend,' right?"

Ritsu looked away from Mugi and squeezed her eyes shut as she felt her hidden fears come into light. She heard Mugi get up and felt a warm embrace from behind her.

"You don't have to keep it a secret anymore, Ricchan." Mugi said quietly. "It's okay. I know."

Ritsu felt a fresh onset of tears burst from her eyes as she turned around and sobbed heavily in Mugi's arms. Mugi managed to ease them to ground where Ritsu buried her face in her lap as she massaged Ritsu's back. After several minutes passed, Ritsu felt notably lighter. She got up slowly and took the handkerchief Mugi offered to her and cleaned up her face.

"I'm sorry, Mugi." Ritsu managed to choke out.

"For what, Ricchan?" Mugi said, perplexed.

"For yelling at you…and bringing about my feelings like this…you probably have changed your view of me now…" Ritsu's voice trailed off as she continued to clean her face.

"There's nothing to apologize for Ricchan. I'm sure I would have done the same." Mugi gently grabbed Ritsu by her shoulders and had her face her.

Ritsu was surprised to see a bright, yet kind fire lit in Mugi's eyes.

"Loving someone is never something anyone should have to apologize for. You should never have to apologize for your feelings. They are what make you, you know, you." Mugi smiled as she softly whacked Ritsu on the head.

"Hey! What was that for?" Ritsu said, chuckling as she rubbed her head.

"I just thought that in this type of situation Mio-chan would hit you. I wanted to try it." Mugi laughed. "I think I can understand a bit why she hits you so much. It did make me feel a bit better."

"Why you-"

"Ah, no Ricchan! Stop it!"

Ritsu was attempting to grab Mugi into a head lock and Mugi managed to keep away, laughing all the while.

"Hold still Mugi!"

"No I wo-oompf!"

Mugi had tripped at the same moment Ritsu managed to grab her and they both fell onto the ground, with Ritsu on top of Mugi.

"Oww that hurt. Are you okay Mugi?" Ritsu looked down at Mugi with worry as she gently caressed an area on Mugi's head that had a slight bump.

"Yes, I'm okay." Mugi said, giggling. "You're quite scary when you want something, Ricchan."

"Only for the things I love!" Ritsu said proudly. "Next time don't move around so much and you..y-you…Mio?" Ritsu was surprised to see Mio standing at the entrance of the club room.

Her eyes widened when she realized where Mio was looking at and hastily got up.

"This isn't what it looks like!"

Mio had an indescribable look on her face as she continued to stare at Ritsu and Mugi. The two of them slowly approached Mio, each taking care not to cause Mio to run out on them.

"I-it's true Mio-chan. I was just talking to Ricchan and somehow we ended up tripping as she chased me for hitting her and-"

"Mugi was just comforting me—"

"Lying on the floor together is the way someone seeks comfort?" Mio snapped. "I'm a fool to think you were affected by what happened earlier. Playing around with Mugi…It didn't bother you at all, did it?"

"W-wait! It's not like that! All this happened because-"

"Enough! I don't care anymore Ritsu! You obviously don't care about me. Lately all you do is nag and make it seem like I can't do anything by myself."

At this point Ritsu cringed as she recalled the words she had spoken earlier to Mio.

"I'm tired of getting my hopes and dreams shot down by you. Who died and made you the ruler of my life?" Mio's voice started getting louder and louder. "As my best friend, I thought you'd be happy for how I've been growing as a person. I did everything you wanted, even though I was frightened at first. And now that things are going good for me, you act like they're all bad for me? I'm not some toy for your amusement, Ritsu. I'm your best friend. I'm someone who has always been by your side and loved you as you are, the good and bad. But now you've become someone I don't even know. Someone I'm not sure I _want _to know. And it breaks my heart, Ritsu."

Ritsu heard sniffling and was aghast at the array of tears falling down Mio's face. She tried to think of something to say but when she tried to speak, her voice would not come out. So she merely turned her face to the side and refused to look at Mio. She heard Mio give a little a cry before taking deep breaths to calm herself.

"W-w-when you d-decide whether or not you want to grow up and become honest with me, y-you know where t-t-to find me."

Having said that, Mio ran out of the room, not seeing Mugi catch Ritsu as she fell into shock.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you for being patient everyone! School finally ended but at the moment my laptop finally died forever on me on Monday so I'm not sure when the next chapter will be out. Luckily I was able to borrow my friend's pc to write the chapter. I'm also moving to a place that has no internet so that further hinders things. If I have to, I'll go to the nearest library and type up the rest of the story whenever I can. Thanks for sticking thus far with me. Hope you like the chapter. Please review!

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><p>-0-0-0-0-0-<p>

_Got to remember to take care of myself_

_When the situation calls for it, I'll tell white lies_

_Not everything is solvable, just because on is willing to_

_Even the most sincere heart, it can still be rejected_

-0-0-0-0-0-

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><p>"Mugi." Ritsu said. "What just happened?"<p>

Ritsu stared blearily at the door before daring to relax into Mugi's embrace.

"I…I can't answer that, Ricchan. I'm sorry."

"What do you mean?" Ritsu lashed out as she broke away from Mugi and looked down at her angrily.

"You always know what to do! You saw what happened. What am I supposed to do now?"

Ritsu paced around the room in frustration as she weaved her fingers throughout her hair in frustration.

"Run."

"What?"

"Run after her, Ritsu." Mugi said as she slowly got up and dusted herself off. And gazed outside the window.

"And then what?"

Mugi looked at Ritsu so sternly that Ritsu cringed slightly. Mugi shook her head and sighed before giving Ritsu a small smile.

"Just listen to your heart. You know her best. Just be yourself. You'll know what to do."

"Be myself, huh? Look where it got me." Ritsu said. "After all is said and done, I've done nothing but hurt—Ow! Mugi! What that hell was that for?"

Ritsu rubbed a growing lump on her head and glared at the retreating hand that caused it.

"What happened this far wasn't you."

"Uh, yes it was."

"But it wasn't the _real _you. The _true _you. The real Ritsu wouldn't act like this, especially to Mio-chan. I may have not known you two long, but I've seen enough of the bond between you two to know that you both haven't been yourselves around each other lately. "

"Both of us? What do you mean—"

Mugi ignored Ritsu's comment and continued.

"It's time to be true to not only yourself, but Mio-chan too. Even though you probably seem like a stranger to her now, I know Mio still wants to believe in you, no matter what happens between the two of you. Just be yourself Ritsu and stop running away from her. You can keep secrets from your friends and family to protect yourself, but if there's anyone you shouldn't have to hide from, it's Mio-chan."

"But what if I can't…"Ritsu's voice trailed off as she hugged herself and looked at the floor.

Mugi strode to Ritsu and placed her hands firmly on Ritsu's shoulders. Ritsu looked up at Mugi with dampness in her eyes.

"Just go, Ricchan." Mugi said gently. "Don't question anything anymore and just go and think of what you _can _do. What only you can do for Mio-chan…and for yourself."

"I…thank you, Mugi." Ritsu said.

She removed Mugi's hold on her and slowly made her way to the clubroom entrance.

"Good luck, Ricchan."

Ritsu gave Mugi a weak smile and thumbs up before turning heel and running as fast as she could. Mugi waited until her footsteps faded before speaking again.

"I really hope all goes well for those two. Right, everyone? You can come out. I'm not mad."

Mugi smiled as she turned around to see Yui, Azusa, and their teacher, Sawako-sensei crawl out of from under the teacher's desk in the room.

"How'd you know we were here, Mugi-chan?" Yui said sheepishly.

"When Ricchan fell, I saw Azusa-chan's tail sticking out."

"What tail?" Azusa looked behind her and flared up. "I told you not to put it on me, Sensei!" Azusa ripped off the tail and tried to throw it to the floor, only to have her teacher snatch it from her hands.

"What are you doing Azusa? That tail is made out of high quality materials!" Sawako pouted. "It looked so good on you too."

"Yeah Azunyan. It made you look like a noble kitty cat." Yui said while petting Azusa on the head.

"Er, thank you-Hey wait a minute!" Azusa swatted Yui away and shifted her focus back to Mugi. "We shouldn't be focusing on me! Mugi-senpai, about what exactly happened just now? Are Ritsu-senpai and Mio-senpai going to be okay?"

"It was just a misunderstanding, Azusa-chan." Mugi said while getting out some tea cups. "Mio-chan and Ritsu-chan just need some time alone to sort out their feelings."

"Ah, to be young and have confusing feelings again." Sawako-sensei said as she sat down and helped herself to some cookies Mugi laid out onto a plate.

"I suppose that time has passed for you, Sawako-sensei?" Yui said innocently as she tried to steal a cookie from Sawako's plate.

"If you don't want me to put you in detention, I suggest you take back your words and your fingers, Hirasawa-san."

"Ehehehe. Forgive me Sawa-chan!"

"Anyways, I hope those two know that they can always come to us with problems." Sawako adjusted her glasses before giving Mugi a smile. "And I think you did a good job back there with Tainaka-san, Mugi."

"Thank you, Sensei." Mugi said as she sat down.

"So what are we to do now?" Azusa said while looking at everyone. Everyone in turn looked at Mugi who smile mysteriously at them.

"We wait." Mugi said, putting a cup of tea to her lips.


End file.
